I lost myself, again.
Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t feel good enough?
You don’t worth anything. You lost direction in your life and you’re at the weakest point of your life? Have you ever felt that?
I’m feeling it right now. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself.
I don’t know what am I good at, what are my strengths?
I’m 22 but I don’t feel like I’ve proven my worth, I haven’t used everything I have to live my life to the fullest. What does it mean by ‘live your life’ tbh? Idk.
I don’t know what I want to achieve, I feel like I’m never good enough.
Do I even have any potential? Some people who are younger than me have started their careers, have a solid idea on what they want to be in the next 5-10 years. I don’t. Well, I I used to have them, when I was 17. But 5 years later, today, have I achieved those dreams? If I did, what’s next? If I didn't, what should I do?
I’m going to have my internship in a month but I’m not ready to meet new people. I feel like a wallflower these days, I’ve changed. Can an extrovert turn to be an introvert? Yes she can. I prefer it that way these days. Because I’m done with all the critics. But people are gonna judge me anyway. I’m tired of keep making new friends when my old friends would leave me. Or it’s me who left? But a college mate once told me, as you grow older, you would lose your friends, but never forget to have networkings. Maybe I should stick to that.
I’ve never been given the freedom that a 22-year-old woman should get, but I shouldn’t let that be something to stop me from doing things I love. What do I love? I don’t know. I like photography but there’s always a negative competition, disgusting vibes that people have against me when I only take pictures because of my love for it, not for praises.
I like dancing but someone told me it’s so inappropriate for a hijabist to dance. Haha, my life is like the story of the donkey, the father and the son, right? Maybe I should tell everyone to mind their own business and stop telling people what they should do with their lives.
Pathetic Aliah needs some help and love.