My first Ramadhan away

I'm feeling very blue these days,

everything seems a little sadder.

It's Ramadhan,

this is my first time away from home during this holy month.

I've been missing this month,

I've been feeling afraid if I couldn't be in this month again.

I've been missing my grandfathers.

Back in schools,

I would feel very lucky, cause I still had both sides of my grandparents.

This Raya,

I'm only left with my grandmothers.

It feels rather sad.

I would call my mum every day,

my maternal grandma is staying at our home now.

She would ask me every day,

why didn't I come home?

Honest answer,

I don't have enough money to pay for my flight tickets.

Even though my parents have offered me, I rather not to.

Because I've owed them so much,

I rather stay here and not waste their money.

I mean, they have many other commitments to think about.

My money could have been enough,

but I will be traveling in Europe from June till August.

Excited? Absolutely!

But I'm still sad for not gonna make it home this Eid.

My grandma would tell me, 

every single day,

to come home cause she misses me

and to come home for Raya because that's the least a daughter could do to make the parents happy.

I get it.

But it'll be the least I could do if I'm staying in Malaysia, but different state

and the transportation cost would be less than RM1000.

You gotta pay for what you decide, right?

Studying abroad is not all cupcakes and rainbows.

There's up and down and I would say 

having to celebrate the month of togetherness;

Ramadhan and Syawal without beloved ones,

that's a tough one.

But hey, on the bright side,

it's a life experience that I might appreciate in the future right?

As for now,

I'm craving for tepung pelita hati and taufu faa!

What's your favorite Ramadhan kuih?