Botanical Garden, Montreal


Spring should be here, okay?
But in Canada, it is never punctual.
But I've bought the ticket to enter botanical garden!

So my friends, Nusaiba and Aanika, and I
we just went.

It was snowing but the view was great!

And also,
it was only us hahaha
so we got to be part time models for awhile.

The Chinese Garden is beautiful!
Even though it's snowing,
the red buildings look very attractive!







I am starting to love photographing 
flowers.
They are unique and they represent colors and wonderful nature.
Subhanallah,
I really love doing this.










I still remember one of the posts of my old blog,
I talked about how I wanted to be a model,
but my shortness would make the dream impossible.

If people didn't give you that opportunity,
you create them!

Thanks to Aanika for the wonderful shots.







I enjoy taking pictures of people as well!
Aanika and Nusaiba became my models too!





If you're interested in becoming my model,
just email me!
maliahe13d11@gmail.com

We can do that either in Montreal
or Malaysia this summer!

You only have to pay for my meal,
really.

I am happy to announce to the world
that I do have a flickr account now!
Check them out!






Poor kid in Canada


I had to request for cheque books from RBC.
So I went to the bank and the front officer
explained to me all the procedure.

I was oh okay,
so the price for the cheque book is $XX.

And my bank account in chequing acc is only $XX.

Certainly not enough to pay for that.

I looked so miserable.
So to cover it up,
I told her,
I was waiting for my allowance from Malaysia.
And she looked relief.

"Oh this kid wasn't that poor."

But really,
I only had $XXX of money that I can spend for
3 months and I took as many paid surveys as I could.
I restricted myself from eating outside,
I didn't cook fancy food as frequent as I did before.

It's all because of one mistake;
miscalculating my budget.
Or overbudget.

Lol.

Now you see why am I not an accountant, right?

There's this part of me,
I couldn't say no.

When you're the only one abroad,
people keep asking you to buy this and that for them.
So I did.
Without thinking of what should I eat and how should I survive,
because I know I can.
Their desires are more important than my need.

The concept is wrong,
but it just gives me some kind of happiness.

I rather spend my money on other people than myself.
The only time that I couldn't tolerate
is when I really want to travel.
I can buy for you all of the things you want,
but please do not ask me to stop traveling.

On top of all the 
eat only once a day thing,
be vegetarian etc,
this happened.

You can see what's inside the iphone

This just happened, I didn't drop it

I am a poor kid, remember?

I could just buy myself an iphone the moment I arrived in Canada.
But I didn't, because my need and my desire don't matter.
I can survive with this iphone :)


 I taped it with tape 
It is back to normal!

I am a strong believer that
if I try making others happy,
and prioritize others' happiness over mine,
I can be a better human
and be as happy as them.

I don't beg for new phone from my parents,
because if I did,
I would trouble them, and
God knows how could they survive 
when they have to allocate budget for me,
just because of my unnecessary need.

I can survive,
I will survive.
I am a survivor.

World Map Acne


I can join all the acnes on my face and 
draw world map out of them, literally.

I've tried all the home remedies,
you name them!

From honey to oats,
turmeric, aloe vera, coconut oil,
tamarind, coffee, ACV., rice flour...

They gave me a very sliiiiiiight improvement
and most of the time,
they just made my face brighter.

I am tired of all of these.

As pathetic and desperate
as I sound, it's true.

I am not gonna lie.

I HAVE STOPPED EATING CHICKEN
for a month.

Not entirely,
I ate them twice during dinner with friends,
but yeah I don't buy chicken anymore.

Trust me, it helps!
I used this trick when I was 18,
cause my family doesn't eat chicken,
but fish.
When my high school ended,
I technically stopped having chicken for my meals.
So yeah.

If you're really a chicken freako
and you suffer acne like me,
eat organic ones.

The normal chickens;
they're full of chemicals,
not vitamin and protein that our body wants.

In spite of weathers,
food and lifestyle are two main aspects that 
play important roles in the context of acne.

I AM A 28-DAY-VEGETARIAN NOW!

Well,
there's a difference between being a vegetarian and vegan.

Vegetarian doesn't eat meat,
but still consume fish and dairy products.

Vegan only eats vegetables and fruits.

I don't have anything against meat,
I love meat!
I just stop eating them because of my skin condition.

And eating broccolis and carrots is great!
I love them! Especially when you cook them you can see
all the green + orange = emerald color.

I am loving what I eat now!

Despite for the skin,
I can reduce my weight too.

Don't blame me for taking care of my weight.
I need to control my weight because
I am short.
Overweight is definitely a problem to me.

I am working on detoxing my body now,
hopefully, it works
and exercising as frequent as I can.

Let's have healthier lifestyle!
Toodles!



Kapoor & Sons Since 1921 -- A Must-Watch Movie



I am a big fan of Sidharth Malhotra,
but this movie is definitely a great movie,
he just makes it better :P

I went to watch it with my friends and I cried,
because I was sobbing, my two other friends were crying too!

Well,
it's very family-oriented.
A broken family;
with scandal going on, 
unloved child, perfect son, 
misunderstanding love.

Dadu, the guy who's on the iPad screen
united them all.

I don't wanna tell the exact stories 
like I did for Zootopia because
I want you to watch it!!

Anyway, I am willing to share some valuable lessons from this movie.

1. Love your kids equally.
Favoritism is a pain. As much as I do apply favoritism in my life,
I have strong belief that parents should not have favoritism towards their kids.
Kids deserve to be loved equally.
No matter how successful one can be, or how naughty another one can be;
both kids need an equal amount of attention and love.
Do not compare your kids,
comparison is another root of heartache.
Simple love them, they need your love :)
Appreciate them, it will make them being better humans.

2. Always appreciate your parents
As our parents age, they will act more like kids.
They will fall sick, but all they need is the kids' attention.
Take care of them like how they used to take care of us when we're kids.
No matter how mad they're at you, 
all their advice is for you to be a better human.
We never know when will it be the last time for a family to have
a family time.
So, when you have one, cherish it while you can :)

3. Do what you love to do
When you do something that you love,
even you don't get high salary, 
you'll still enjoy what you're doing.
But when you hate something you do,
no matter how high your salary is, you will still
feel your job is a burden.

4. It's not harmful to start something new
Take the risk! If you love writing and want to write a book,
start it now! Do not wait forever.
Because you'll never know, the outcome of trying :)
#tellingthistomyself
#hmm

5. The worst mistake is a marriage is cheating
This should be made as the first point, tbh.
YOU SHOULD NOT CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE!
DO NOT HAVE OTHER WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE
OTHER THAN YOUR WIFE AND YOUR DAUGHTERS!
A wife can be patient if you're a messy or lazy person.
If you get mad for no reasons,
if you do not give her enough money for her clothes and shoes;
most women are okay with all of them.
But the very fist second you love someone else,
that is not in your family equation,
you know you're screwed.
You corelle sets are gone!
You will be starving to death cause no one will cook for you.
You will wear dirty clothes cause no one will do the laundry for you.
You will not gain respect from your kids.
You will lose your family.
End of the story.

6. Forgiveness is one of the keys to happiness
But to forgive is a must.
Everyone makes mistakes,
even Allah forgives all of our sins.
But to trust again,
after betrayal, NEVER.



Love,
Aliah Nazamusa :)



Circle of Friends


I still remember one of
the essay titles that I had to write
when I was SSP:
"As we grow older, our circle of friends becomes smaller."

This is a sad truth that I have to admit.

Well, 
you may say in university,
you have all the opportunity to
create networking with people etc.

But in my case,
yeah I do have all the opportunity,
you name it.

But they're just my contacts,
not friends that you can rely on.

My statement sounds bias,
then again,
it's made merely based on how I feel.

I hardly talk to most of my high school friends,
I feel bad about it.

It's not that I don't want to,
it's just that I don't have time to.

Maybe if I could meet them in person,
we could have hours long conversation.

Oh,
I was in debating team back then,
and people kept on saying how those people
will stick to me till the very end.

Aha,
you got me there.

I hardly keep in touch with any of them.

Was it just me or it happened to everyone else?

When putting all of these into perspectives,
I think, 
I am a terrible friend.

I spoke to them when I wanted to.
When I was busy, I even forgot to reply the conversation that I started.

Thus, I couldn't blame them for forgetting me
on my special days, could I?

I should mend my relationship with those I used to befriend with,
but as for now,
I should appreciate those who still value me,
even though I don't deserve their love.

To my fellow friends,
I still remember you in my prayer.
I know Allah is taking care of you, wherever you're :)

xo,
A.


Root of suffering


This semester, 
I am taking religions of East Asia course too!

So many religions class, right?

But I feel like I am enjoying it.

"Attachment is the root of suffering."

It's a quote from The Buddha,
yet I can relate that so well with life
and in Islamic point of view too.

Remember,
we learn that we cannot worship anything else but Allah?

Well, it's true because if you love anything more than you love Allah,
if you spend more time on other things that worshiping Allah,
you'll be suffering.

For example,
if you work so hard to gain money,
you will be satisfied because you'll be richer
and yet you're suffering inside,
because you constantly want to be richer than you're now.
 If one day, your business didn't go well,
you'll be stressful,
you'll just constantly feel the pain.

It goes to the idea of grief too.
In Islam,
when you lost someone you terribly love,
you're not allowed to mourn and grief about it.
You are not allowed to cry when you want to kiss the jenazah.
You have to accept that
everyone belongs to Allah, and to Him we all shall return.

With this understanding,
you will not attach yourself to anyone,
or anything.
Every happiness is a gift from Allah.
every pain is a test from Allah.

Be thankful for everything you have now :)

I am writing this post because I feel like,
I am attaching myself so much on my education;
I feel like I study because I want to graduate.
If my result's bad,
I will feel sad because it doesn't reflect my efforts.
I am attaching myself to people I love too.
Because sometimes I cry when I think of
one day, I am gonna lose them.

But this shouldn't be the case.

I am reminding myself.

I have to put effort to do well in my education,
but before that, I have to correct my intention, my niat.
Allah will help me, easing my journey.

He has written my fate and destiny,
I can put effort to change it,
but everything that comes from Him
is good and is for good reason.
We should put trust in him.

Someone you love might return to Him one day.
If you miss the person, send him/her doa,
so he/she will be placed in the heaven :)

Someone you love might betray you for someone else.
I know how painful it can be,
because it's hard to forget someone that gave you so much to remember,
but it can be healed.

You might miss him/her at times,
but do not let the feeling control you.
Because the feeling can be very overwhelming.

Never let your emotions overpower your intelligence.

You just have to be patient.
Remember that Allah has better things for you.

You're not the unfortunate one,
he/she who betrays is.


Chin up, folks.
The scars will heal.
It just takes (longer) time.

xo,
Aliah





It's called a hustle, sweetheart!


Zootopia is a very great movie, 
even my dad approved that!

For those who haven't watched it,
DO WATCH THIS MOVIE!
It's one of the most brilliant movies
I've ever watched in my entire life!

For the record, 
this is a spoiler alert!
 I will be touching on how this movie is related to human's life!

So basically,
this movie is called Zootopia,
it's a country of animals,
consists of many districts;
the city, jungle, rabbit farm, dessert, antartic-ish.



So, there're many lessons that I got from this movie.

I will tell you this, based on the plot sequences.

1. You can achieve your dreams if you put your heart into it.



This bunny, she's a female.
She's small and looks incapable of doing great stuff,
because she's just a bunny.
She had a dream of being a police cause she wants to save to the world.

When she went to police academy,
she almost failed.
But she worked damn hard to achieve her dreams;
she ended up being the first bunny cop.

When she went to the city,
to be the cop,
she was still being underestimated.
She was given task to check the traffic and parking,
yet she wanted to do something big.

In the end, she did solve a really big crime in the town.
She's just the hero.



Just because you're a petite girl,
it doesn't mean you cannot be an engineer.
I always tell this to myself,
because people always think that you have to be a guy
to be in engineering field.
But the truth is,
you don't have to.
If you want to be one, 
you can be one!
You just have to put effort to attain it!

Later on, during my career life,
I may face difficulties in dealing with my job
because engineering can be as demanding as I am.
I will have husband and kids to take care of,
but I choose this path, right?
There will always be ways for me to juggle 
my time between everything in my life, that is equally important.

2. Stereotyping is really a poison in the society.

Anyway, before she left her hometown
for the city, she was advised by her parents,
to keep away from foxes.
They gave her fox repellent and such.

Therefore,
when she was in the city, she still had this skeptical on fox.
When she was working,
she saw a fox, wanting to buy giant popsicle for his son,
from an elephant ice-cream restaurant.

So basically,
in the movie, all criminals were foxes.
So the people at the restaurant was ignoring the fox 
simply because he was a fox.


When we tend to group people based on ethnicities, races and religions.

If you're Asians, then you're smart.
If you're Malay, then you're lazy.
If you're white, then you're beautiful.
If you're a hijabist, the you're supposed to stay at home and take care of your family.
If you're a Muslim, then you're a terrorist.
If you write or blog in English, then you don't appreciate your culture.




There is no correlation between your race and how you should behave.
The medias have influenced our thinking on these matters.
Hence, we are not accepting differences among us,
but we use that against each other.

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. (49:13)


Even in the Quran, Allah has stated that He has created us 
differently, so we can learn from each other and not fight against each other.

If everyone could understand this,
we can run the world well.
We can use each race's speciality and strength
to have a better world for the human population.

No race will feel oppressed nor feel that it is superior to others.
Everyone has been given special ability,
everyone has her/his own strength and weakness,
we should complement each other.

3. Oppressed people will do whatever it takes to survive

So when the fox wasn't being treated properly at the restaurant,
she stood up for him,
and actually paid for his son's ice-cream.

She's so glad to help them.
She helped so many people!

So her perception towards foxes changed
until she saw the fox was using the giant popsicle to produce
tiny popsicles for hamsters,
and get money from the selling.


She confronted the fox and she said,
she didn't deserve to be cheated.
Because she stood up for him, right?

The fox said that
he was doing that for survival.
Because he's a fox, no one is gonna hire him.
He had to do something to live.

She countered that by saying,
yes, you can change that.
The fact that she's the first bunny cop had proven
that everyone can be what he/she wants.

His reply was,
"everyone comes to Zootopia, thinking they could be anything they want. 
But you can't. You can only be what you are. Sly fox. Dumb bunny. 
And that is not wet cement."


He has his point.
At first, it's easy to say,
you can be whatever you want.
You just have to believe in it.

But at certain point in life,
there are consequences that you cannot avoid.
This may result from racism, stereotypes or unjust rulers.

You just do not get the right you deserve.

Well,
you certainly can change this.
By changing yourself.
It starts with you.
If you still do what people think you should be doing,
then you're showing them that what they think about you is right.
Be the change you want to see in the world.

If people from your 'category' have the same realisation as yours,
changes will then occur collectively.
Thus, this will change others' opinion on you too!

3. Never underestimate others.

(I am skipping some plots here)
The bunny was challenged by her chief
to solve a case for 48 hours,
or else, she had to resign.
She's up for the challenges.

She had to find a missing animal,
and she had only one clue, that was the last time he was seen.
He was eating the popsicle!
So she went to the fox and made him 
helping her!
So she went to find the missing animal together.
She didn't only find that one missing animal,
she also found the other 13 of them!
She really had solved an enormous case.



A petite, dumb rabbit and a sly fox,
were solving these cases together!

4. You simply have no idea what's inside someone's heart

"Rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain."

Everyone would think that the villain is the fox
or the lion mayor.
But the villain was the one who helped the bunny with clues,
the mayor's secretary, a lamb.

She wanted preys to conquer Zootopia
and destroyed the predators,
or made predators looked like the bad people.

It's very related to humankind.



Some people are blinded by power and money.
Money = power
To be powerful, they can betray or even their friends or families.
They just don't care.

People who lived in Paleolithic or Neolithic period were practicing animism religion,
they worshiped trees, mountains, rivers etc.
But today's society are almost similar to them
because we tend to worship money, power and status.
We don't literally do it,
but if we reflect back,
the purpose of us studying or working
is to get money to live.
Well, it's for survival.
But we tend to make money as our top priority.
Money can buy us happiness now, huh?

Satans' determination to manipulate humans is working, hm.

It's hard to trust people.
You want to trust others, but you're afraid of betrayal.

This is all because we do not know what lies
inside other's heart.
Only God knows.

The people who are nice to you may betray you
and the person you hate may help you one day.

Just like the fox, who helped the bunny solving this case.
And the lamb, who was using the bunny to be in power.

Sidenote 1. No matter how terrible and awful a fight can be, in a relationship, with love and determination, you can work things out with your partner.



Have you ever seen married couples fighting like there's no hope in the marriage, yet,
they still stick with each other till the end of time?
Well, fights happen.

Especially if the girl's someone who will question even the slightest thing,
get mad if the guy didn't pick up the phone cause he's asleep,
or she's the kind of girl who will nag because the guy left his coffee mugs everywhere in the house.

To make it worse,
the guy actually had big problems in his office and he came back,
the wife nagged and complained of stuff.

When you're stressful,
you may lose your patience.




When you're angry and you started to talk,
you knew WW3 could happen.

But anger is not temporary.
You can ask for forgiveness or forgive them.
You can talk this out, have heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse,
(spouse, not spouses, ehem.)
correct each other and work things out.

Then everything starts to be normal.
You can live happily again.

You cannot just keep repeating the same mistakes and 
expect everything to fix by itself!!!

Sidenote 2. Remember the sloth? 



When you're waiting for your official document from
some governmental organizations,
it may take 10 years.
Well, haha it happens.
We all know that, no matter in which part of the world you live in.
However, there are efforts taken to improve this status quo.
Kudos to that!

Okay, some people may be slow at what they're doing,
especially at work...
But they can be fast drivers!
Do not judge a driver based on his work!



Life's a little bit messy. 
We all make mistakes. 
No matter what type of animal you are, change starts with you.

ps, my dad keeps mentioning how the bunny looks so much like me!
She's petite and has big eyes!
I guess so too!

So Qim, you're the fox!


Nick Wilde: You know you love me.
Judy Hopps: [Sarcastically] Do I know that?
[pauses]
Judy Hopps: Yes, yes I do!

You're so mean, but I owe you!


I was so afraid to get into university
cause I had this skeptical mind;

Lecturers could be mean.
You have to be nice to them to get extra marks etc.


I am in university now,
and I am changing my perception.

Lecturers are not mean,
they cannot be nice if you don't take your education seriously.

Youths can be too carefree at times,
everything is not taken seriously,
including the future.

They are not going to give you
free marks if you don't work hard for it.

Because it's the reality.

You won't get money if you don't work.
You will still be illiterate if you don't learn how to read.
You will still be stupid if you are too ego to learn from others.

But yesterday, I had another issue.
Even my friend was asking me to stop being self-conscious about it.

I always feel like I have a thing
inside of me called human repellant.
 People will not want to talk to me,
people will judge me and
they will hate me.

To a certain extent, it's true.

No matter how hard I am trying to deny it,
it's always true.

There will always be someone that doesn't accept you, easily.
They will, but it takes time.

Someone might be in constant competition with you,
you don't feel like you're competing with them,
but they do.

They feel like you're stealing people's attention from them,
you steal their happiness.

Even though
I don't intentionally do what they blame me doing,
they still see me as the bad girl, right?

Can I do anything to change their perceptions on me?
No.

Can I change my perception on them?
Hell yeah!

These situations have thought me many things.

1. When you're grateful for what you have and thank Allah enough,
you will not feel defeated by others.
Your money in the bank doesn't define Allah's bless towards you.
Because money is a test on your iman.
How well do you spend that is more important.
So, don't compete to be richer, more famous or prettier.
Because they're all impermanent.

2. You define your own happiness.
Even if you think it has been taken away from you, 
you can always create one.
I know this is super subjective.

Especially in this case


You might feel like this kind of person shouldn't exist
cause they build their happiness on other's sadness.
But hey, we all know this kind of happiness won't last long!

This is like a super impolite language that I use to remind myself,
so pardon my language.

 If a jerk dumped you for a bitch,
you should know that the bitch might dump him for another jerk later.
It's karma, girl.
Chin up!
You should be happy cause you're no longer in a relationship with a jerk :)

Your happiness is not stolen,
you just have to find a better one!

Okay okay,
I know it's easy for me to say this,
but hey after a long time,
when you're in your rational state of mind,
you will agree with me too!

#beentheredonethat

3. Permission to be a better person

Sometimes, the people you meet in life, give you permission to be a better person.
Even bad people can teach you good values,
you just have to wear your ethical glasses and
know what lessons to take when you encounter bad things.

To those who feel like
I am constantly threatening your life
by enjoying my life,
you should really reflect upon this.

If you stop caring about others' life
and start appreciating yours,
you will notice that your life is so much better than mine or any other people's.

Appreciate what you have now
before they become what you once had.

#tellingthistomyselftoo

Aliah Nazamusa